Breathe

It has been a long couple of weeks...or so?

It's been so busy--all of the usual 1st semester or school winding down & all of the activities that involves, the kiddos starting basketball, getting ready for Christmas...

In all of that, Grandpa (or "Pa", as my kids referred to him) passed away.  He passed on Monday, the 13th around 9pm that night.  I was so very greatful to have had the opportunity to visit him the Saturday before.  His teeth were bothering him & he asked if I would floss them for him.  :-)  When I was doing that, he said, "I sure am glad to be taken care of by professionals."  His voice was weak, but he was joking like he typically did.  I laughed & said, "Well, I sure am glad you put me in that category, Grandpa!"  He said,  "Uh huh!"  :-)  Before we left the room, I hugged his head, looked him in the eye & told him I loved him.  I cannot thank God enough for the opportunity to have that be the last exchange of words with my Grandpa.  When we saw him again on Monday, he was already in a coma. 

Despite doctors' not recommending the family transport Grandpa to Calvin (his hunting land & favorite get away), Grandma put her foot down & told the doctors that we had told him we were taking him to Calvin (or as H has recently named it "Pa's Valley") & that was exactly what we were going to do.  The nurses got him changed into his camo clothes & he was transported with Grandma & Aunt Dana riding along, along with a caravan of other family vehicles, anxious to get him there, as was his wish for his last moments.  We were told he wouldn't survive the trip, but he did!  They laid him on the couch/bed in my parents' 5th wheel, facing the window that faced one of his ponds & told him where we were. 

Apparently, the last thing to go in a coma is hearing, so we all took turns talking to & touching Grandpa in his last hours.  I left around 7:30--following some of my cousins, so that I could find my way back to the main road.  H was being awarded Student of the Month @ school the next day, so I didn't want to spend the night in Calvin & miss it.  I got a phone call about the time I got home, that he had passed away, with Grandma & all of his grown kids holding him, along with Aunt Dana, who was acting as his hospice nurse.  (That is her occupation.)

It's been hard to lose Grandpa the way we did.  He was sick so many times, but had always bounced back--he was a very strong man.  One of the many lessons in losing him though, especially right @ Christmas-time, is being reminded of what is important.  It is so easy to get caught up in the hustle & bustle of this holiday & focus more on the planning, the presents, the clean house, the perfect party food, etc, etc. etc...   I am definately a Martha, not a Mary & can make those in my house just as stressed as I am, trying to get it all "done". 

Not a fact that I am proud of, but I admit it.

It has reminded me to stop, take a deep breath & appreciate the process of each day--activities, even responsibilities (which is why I say "appreciate" instead of enjoy--not all of them are necessarily enjoyable in & of themselves) & not sweat the small stuff.  My house welcomed company this week without being cleaned (some for the 1st time--which would normally cause me to have it super clean), laundry has been washed, but not always put away, I purchased Thank You gifts for all of the teachers who helped me in bible classes this year, instead of making something for each of them...  My sweet MIL has offered more than once to help me with laundry & house cleaning, but I told her that I am at a point that I honestly am not concerned about it.  It will all get done.  I am not going to stress about my To Do list.  The key will be making it a long term habit.

Jon & Jennie were able to come out for the Memorial service--Jon's flight didn't get here until after it was over, but they were able to spend a few days here with the family.  It has been so nice!  It's so nice to have all of my siblings in one place!  It had been over 6 years since that had happened!!!

So, I am reminded of so many things that I am thankful for--all of the special friends God has brought into my life, along with all of my family.  I am grateful for TIME & trying to be better about spending it wisely.  I am grateful for the man that my Grandpa was, the great role model that he was for all of those around him & the memories I will carry with me.